Accomplished Weekend

I didn’t get a lick of cleaning done and yet I still feel a bit accomplished over how much we did this past weekend. Friday night I had to run to the grocery store and pick up things for out pot-luck picnic with Hubby’s Daddy group on Saturday. I made both a yummy, very healthy pasta salad (cherry tomatoes, sun-dried tomatoes, roasted peppers, olive oil, mozzarella, spices and pasta) and horribly unhealthy marshmallow treat squares. The pasta salad was a huge hit actually, so that will now go officially into the pot luck repertoire. We had a great time though; Ft. Desoto is a very nice beach not too far from us. It was listed as the #1 beach in the country in 2005 I believe. It was Lil’ R’s first time out on nice white sand and waves. Gosh was it windy making the water pretty choppy. Overall we spent about 3 hours out in the sun, I and Hubby ended up getting a bit burned but not Lil’ R. Seems he missed getting the lobster gene, which I am greatly thankful for. Even with applying sunscreen he’s a bit tanner now. That pretty much killed the day, and we were wiped when we got home.

We did learn some things though:

1. The new wagon ROCKS! and was a great asset to have to carry things from the car out to the beach.

2. One large towel would have been enough, save the packing room.

3. Remember to reapply the sunscreen.

4. Work on packing skills, lol.

The rest of the day was pretty much a wash with little constructive getting done, though I did think about starting to pack for our camping trip we leave for on Tuesday. I even printed out the packing list.

Sunday turned out to be a big getting things done day. I grocery shopped and we hit 2 stores getting supplies for the camping trip. Worked lunch and a nap in there somewhere, also got Lil ‘R his first real big boy haircut and Hubby installed 3 of the 4 ceiling fans in the house. The one left to do is the one in baby #2’s room. I don’t think she needs it just yet. Hubby has become a pro at doing the fans though so I’m sure he can have it up in 30 minutes one day after our camping trip. Somehow I irked out at the end of the evening getting most of our stuff packed too. Still some more to do tonight but I at least don’t feel like I’ve done nothing. Tomorrow it will be up to Hubby to finish off the last odds and ends and load the truck.

Mopey

All this stuff going on with thinking about friendships and the shower has me really down. It really sucks when no one is your ‘best friend’ but all of your friends already seem to have that bosom buddy. No matter what I do or how hard I try I don’t think I’ll be likely to change my relationship with someone who already has their “friendship” card pretty full.
That just leaves me in the boat of needed to find some who’s in the same position. I’m hoping to make some type of connection with one of the other mom’s at Hubby’s Daddy group he’s been going to. Tomorrow the group is having a family day out at the beach and I hope it goes well. I need to pick Lil’ R up some sand toys today so he has some of his own to play with. It wouldn’t be good if he was stealing all of the other kid’s toys.

Update NOT So Mopey!
I just talked with my sister-in-law the one person I know who really understands emotionally how I’m doing with all of this. I told her we weren’t planning on doing any baby shin-dig anymore because of both timing, and energy. She offered to send out an e-mail to our invite list for Ronin’s birthday to “put the bug in people’s ears” about Baby #2 and where we are registered. Also she’d say something about Ronin’s bday party being a good time to bring things, and us being too busy to get something together for the next little one and have a 2 year old bday party. It meant a lot to me that someone is willing to do something to ensure that we have the opportunity to get gifts from people. We don’t need much but every penny saved is helpful. I told her really I’d love the most from people is diapers, lol.

The Shower is Drying Up

I think I’ve finally made a decision about the whole baby shower/sprinkle, Baby BBQ, or whatever-the-hell-you-want-to-call it. The decision is we’re not doing it. Looking at the calendar the only date that seems feasible is the weekend before Lil’ R’s 2nd birthday party. It can’t go after his birthday because not only is that getting too close to my due date my brother and sister-in-law already have plans. Of all people I would want to ensure they can make it. I go anymore before his birthday and it just isn’t enough notice for people or me.

We threw around the idea of combining it with Lil’ R’s birthday since the invite list would be virtually the same people but then that seemed awkward. Finally, I just realized how much this sucks and that I don’t have the physical, emotional, or financial ability to throw 2 parties only a week apart from each other. It’s not like I was going to throw the shower for the gifts. I need very little for Baby #2, we’re either getting the things we need as hand-me-downs, second-hand stores, or I’m making it. That doesn’t leave much left. I think all we have left is a new monitor, which maybe I can get at a consignment shop, diapers, more onesies, pants, and a few nursing supplies. She could come home today (if she was full term) and we’d make it by.

How did all this thinking result yesterday? Me in tears upset that no one stepped up to offer to throw one for me and Hubby fuming because of how upset I was. Well my sister-in-law says she wishes she could but she’s due 6 weeks after me and had issues of pre-term labor with her first. She’s being very cautious this time around. So I don’t blame her in the least. I’ve gotten 2 other offers to “help,” only 1 non-solicited. Crazy to me that the non-solicited invite to help is from a casual friend we don’t see very often. She has a daughter less than a year older than Ronin and has also given us much of the stuff her daughter has outgrown, including a sling/carrier and an infant car seat. The other was from the friend I was hoping to reconnect with I wrote about awhile ago. That’s a painful situation in and of itself. Yesterday I put up a status message about this (the shower issue) on Facebook, the response I get from her was something like: “wow that’s a quandary, let me know if you need a hand.” I need more than a damn hand, I need a friend who will step up and do the thing friends do and host one for me.
What should I have expected though, no one stepped up the first time around either. We had a baby BBQ that time that we threw ourselves. No matter how often I call, e-mail, or message people to keep in contact everyone else already seems to have full lives. It gets really tiring always being the one initiating contact or the last one to write an e-mail that never gets answered. It makes me want to just stop even trying.

I think instead on that day I was thinking to do the shower I’ll instead repaint her room and just say “hey I need a hand repainting the baby’s room, come on over, I’ll make cupcakes.” I wonder what will happen? Really I think I know what will happen; I’ll be painting it entirely by myself. I wonder too if anyone other than family will visit when she’s born, though I expect Hubby’s bestfriend & his family will and that’s it.

It’s all just really depressing.

Lost Internet

My day to day job that supports our family is that I am an environmental engineer. I work for a consulting firm here in Florida that specializes in creating computer modeling simulations that can answer predictive questions about how water movement will behave for a specific area. Often this is for the purposes of flood control, restoration, public policy or permitting. Though I work for a private company the majority of our clients are municipalities (city or county agencies) and the water management districts (regional water use authorities).
We just started a new project for one of these government agencies that entails me needing to log in remotely to their computers to do the work. Guess what that means? No more internet or other such distractions at work. Being that I’ll be on government computers everything is logged by crazy tight security because everything is public record. I understand the need for this, tax payer’s money and all. I’m presuming that still using MS Word is fine though, being a legit licensed program and all, even if I’m just using it to compose this blog post to put up later. I guess you guys will be hearing a lot more from me as I find something to do other than “work”, lol. Unfortunately, this means that I may be slow on giving others comments, or responding to comments.
I’m sure going to miss having access to my personal e-mail, my google reader, facebook and café mom so much. I’ll probably end up on the computer all night now once I’m home to make up for it.

Accomplishment!

Over the past year we have survived and are now past 3 huge financial hurdles. We bought a house, we've fully paid the medical deductible for baby #2, and I just paid off the purchase of our 2nd car. Our savings have taken a bit of a hit as a result but there is still enough there for a moderate emergency. Now that we are past these those we can turn our focus to increasing it's health as we continue to pay down our debt. (I also paid off 1 entire credit card yesterday, leaving only 1 card left).

How did  I pull off this last bit? The tax return finally arrived. I feel so much better, I don't think even I realized how stressed I was worrying about that money and getting things paid off. We still have a lot of work to do to get where I want us to be but whew... do I feel better now.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

BTW Lil 'R's wagon now has a vinyl seat cushion in it. Found the fabric on uber clearance at Joann's. I still need to take a picture though.

Why Pregnancy and Toddlers don't mix well

I am feeling so much more beat up this pregnancy then I was with Lil 'R. Sometimes I wish I knew how much more I should have taken that pregnancy in being the easiest one I would ever have. Hindsight is always 20/20 though.

So the story is last night we're going to put Lil 'R to bed. He walks up the stairs and as usual runs past his room and into our bedroom. I get him out of our bedroom and he starts going towards his room where Hubby is holding open the gate. I didn't close the gate on the stairs though when we first came up. He bolts past the room towards the area of the stairs, and I bolt after him. Really I think he was heading to the office and never the stairs but I wasn't going to chance it. Unfortunately the result was I tripped and fell on my outstretched right arm hurting my shoulder. Yeah it's still hurting, I must have pulled something a bit. Lil 'R was okay. Hubby scooped him up and got him safely in his room. I also caught my left arm on something and scratched it and got rug burn on my left knee. I feel so beat up today.

I knew this was going to be tougher this time around but boy I didn't really know how much.

The Warmth is Here

This weekend was a gorgeous so on Sunday I decided to let Lil 'R get in his swim trunks and have his first go at playing in his makeshift kiddy pool. Really it's that sandbox we bought but we still haven't gotten the sand for it just yet. In the meantime it still holds water great.

 

Here's some photos of our fun time. He had a blast. :)

 

The Baby Shower Conundrum

I would love to have a baby shower for this little one, be it just a BBQ, a diaper party, or a sprinkle but really I don't want to throw it myself like I had to with Lil 'R.

My bff had offered early on in my pregnancy to throw it but as my due date approached I heard nothing from her. Needing to do something because we were in desperate need of help we just hosted a simple BBQ.

I really don't want to do that again and would almost rather not have one but Hubby desperately wants to have something. I understand why, he thinks she deserves to be celebrated too even if we don't need very much. But I have such mixed feelings about it. It's embarrassing to me that I had to throw my own shower the first time. Here I don't want to be again the pathetic mom who doesn't have anyone willing to host a shower for her.

So okay, besides the pity party route there let's say we have the Baby BBQ at home again like Hubby wants. That means I have to plan everything again, do all the invitations, decorations and any cooking that needs to be done ahead of time. That also means we have to shoulder the entire expense too. Anyone else hear too where this just overall sucks for me?

I don't know what to do. I know Hubby won't let the idea go and us not have one. But I also don't think he gets why I'm anxious about it either. If we do it ourselves again I'll need to start working on it ASAP. Though would it be wrong to just plain out ask friends to volunteer to help?

Hurray for the Weekend

So I finally get a full weekend and really there isn't much to do around here other than the typical house stuff. No all day training for work on Sunday, no birthday parties, no get together (though that wouldn't be horrible), no nothing. Hubby has been working very diligently all morning on the yard trying to get it back into a semblance of decency. I've been on toddler duty the entire time which I have to say is extremely trying. Lil' R seems to just be in a cranky mood today and nothing is working. I finally got him settled with some lunch and some Sprout on TV which is working fine. Afterwards should be nap time.

I feel so unmotivated today. Yesterday I was just so down that I was on the verge of tears constantly and I had no clue as to why. Earlier in the week hubby and I worked somethings out and since then it's been great. He's been being much more patient and listening better. Still some things to work out as there always will be but nothing there was the reason for why I was feeling down. I caught myself trying to find reasons though, manufacturing things really. It's hard to except being depressed with no reason. I just feel so "broken" you could say when it's like that. I mean I have no reason to be down, I still am a bit today but not to the same degree. I hope it passes soon.

Glider Slipcovers

Another project completed! Last night I finished up the arm rests I was making for the glider we got off of Craigslist. So here I present you the completed product. I made the covers for all the cushions, and they are completely removable being closed with Velcro. The chair didn't come with arm rests but I decided to make some after trying to knit sitting in it and the wood getting very uncomfortable after a short time.  

The best part, the entire project was done with stuff in my "stash" so it didn't cost us a penny beyond buying the glider itself.

I love knowing a project is completely done. It's such a great feeling.

Work In Progress: Yellow & Purple Knit Blanket

I've mentioned this blanket I'm working on a few times so I thought I'd share a photo of it while in progress. Unfortunately the flash distorted the colors a bit, it's much more pastel then it appears. This is about 3 weeks worth of work and at the pace I'm going I should be done in about 4-5 weeks. It's super cuddly too. I'm using Lionbrand, homespun yarn.