I think I’ve finally made a decision about the whole baby shower/sprinkle, Baby BBQ, or whatever-the-hell-you-want-to-call it. The decision is we’re not doing it. Looking at the calendar the only date that seems feasible is the weekend before Lil’ R’s 2nd birthday party. It can’t go after his birthday because not only is that getting too close to my due date my brother and sister-in-law already have plans. Of all people I would want to ensure they can make it. I go anymore before his birthday and it just isn’t enough notice for people or me.
We threw around the idea of combining it with Lil’ R’s birthday since the invite list would be virtually the same people but then that seemed awkward. Finally, I just realized how much this sucks and that I don’t have the physical, emotional, or financial ability to throw 2 parties only a week apart from each other. It’s not like I was going to throw the shower for the gifts. I need very little for Baby #2, we’re either getting the things we need as hand-me-downs, second-hand stores, or I’m making it. That doesn’t leave much left. I think all we have left is a new monitor, which maybe I can get at a consignment shop, diapers, more onesies, pants, and a few nursing supplies. She could come home today (if she was full term) and we’d make it by.
How did all this thinking result yesterday? Me in tears upset that no one stepped up to offer to throw one for me and Hubby fuming because of how upset I was. Well my sister-in-law says she wishes she could but she’s due 6 weeks after me and had issues of pre-term labor with her first. She’s being very cautious this time around. So I don’t blame her in the least. I’ve gotten 2 other offers to “help,” only 1 non-solicited. Crazy to me that the non-solicited invite to help is from a casual friend we don’t see very often. She has a daughter less than a year older than Ronin and has also given us much of the stuff her daughter has outgrown, including a sling/carrier and an infant car seat. The other was from the friend I was hoping to reconnect with I wrote about awhile ago. That’s a painful situation in and of itself. Yesterday I put up a status message about this (the shower issue) on Facebook, the response I get from her was something like: “wow that’s a quandary, let me know if you need a hand.” I need more than a damn hand, I need a friend who will step up and do the thing friends do and host one for me.
What should I have expected though, no one stepped up the first time around either. We had a baby BBQ that time that we threw ourselves. No matter how often I call, e-mail, or message people to keep in contact everyone else already seems to have full lives. It gets really tiring always being the one initiating contact or the last one to write an e-mail that never gets answered. It makes me want to just stop even trying.
I think instead on that day I was thinking to do the shower I’ll instead repaint her room and just say “hey I need a hand repainting the baby’s room, come on over, I’ll make cupcakes.” I wonder what will happen? Really I think I know what will happen; I’ll be painting it entirely by myself. I wonder too if anyone other than family will visit when she’s born, though I expect Hubby’s bestfriend & his family will and that’s it.
It’s all just really depressing.