Thursday, February 4, 2010

Family Woes

One thing I have yet to bring up are some ongoing major family problems. Last September my Grandmother who is 88 fell while in her home.

She's quiet capable though, or was, and had been living alone for many years. She'd injured her knee in 2008 and though it gave her trouble she was still very independent. Family assisted in helping her with errands like the grocery store could be a bit tough on her. Overall though she was very capable. Until the fall. No one knows how it happened or even the cause. She fell in her garage and it appeared that she hit her head hard on her car. She possibly was there a few hours too before my uncle P found her. At the hospital they could never find a cause neurologically or physically, no stroke, etc. Her memory was shot though. She wasn't remembering anyone really or was confusing people. After a week or so she was moved to a rehabilitation center where her memory was improving but she was continuing to have paranoid feelings. I've been told that she definitely was a changed person. There was hope though because her memory was coming back and the neurologist had hope she would fully recover in time. Then the crazy sh*t happened.

I get a call that my uncle H and aunt K, had flown in from California and Canada respectively and had checked my grandmother out of the rehab center. They had taken her to her home and weren't letting anyone really see her for any length of time, at first. Shortly, they stopped letting anyone see her. My uncle H took her back to his home in California and we haven't heard from her since. That was in November.

As can be easily guessed at, there is money involved in all of this. When by grandfather passed away in 1981 he left a large amount of money behind. A trust was formed that is now worth a sizable amount of money, the intention of that trust is to support my Grandmother while she lives and when she passes to be liquidated then distributed to her children. She also has a large amount of personal income.

Before she was taken to CA she demanded my uncle P step down as trustee of the trust and give it over to my uncle h. He refused and she disowned him. She also signed a trespassing warrant against my father when he came to visit her one time before she was taken. Then on Christmas Eve my uncle P was served with a lawsuit. My grandmother had gifted him, my dad and my brother sizeable amounts of money. For my brother and uncle P it was to help buy new homes, nothing insanely lavish but still sizeable amounts. I don't doubt they were gifts though I still find the amounts staggering. Many of our money issues would have been solved at a fraction of those amounts but I've on principle refused to ask for any financial help beyond what has been offered to me. I'm a bit proud you could say. Especially in regards to money and taking care of myself.

A few weeks back another lawsuit came through to get my uncle p removed as trustee. Yesterday was an emergency hearing over it. Looks like things may finally get moving in a positive direction now. All the information was brought before a judge on what my uncle h has done, most of which his lawyer had no clue about. He wasn't present at the court, just his lawyer. So his lawyer was made to look like a fool. The family had already tried to get DCF involved in CA to do a wellness check on my grandmother but had been refused admittance. My uncle p also proved that at the time of her fall and being in rehab the bank statements on her account, disproving my uncle h's allegations that she had been left with no money. That account had held 2 years worth of income for me. Now the court's are going to look into my uncle h and that he may have misappropriated funds himself. Also the court wishes to appoint her a guardian so she will have to appear. Though, everyone will go to CA to her.

It's a huge fiasco and I worry about her so much. I gets me so badly at times because our relationship had been on the rocks for a year or so's time over my quick marriage to my husband. We were just starting to get things back when she fell too, like the first blossoming was happening.

I've been putting off writing to her because no one else has succeeded, but I've realized I at least have to try. And maybe their is the chance mine won't be returned because I'm not in the lawsuit. I won't say much, I expect if I saw anything too important or pertaining to what is going on she's less likely to ever see it. I just need to let her know we miss her.

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